I hate it here.
[ wish ] too much
[ want ] so much
[ love ] not enough
*sigh
:: 3 digital artworks ::
Today's been alright, but I'm bored && slightly annoyed with how thing's are turning out for me these past days. Tomorrow I will be returning home. *blehhhhh*.
Oh, I'll still live w/Nate, it all depends.
Depends...
I need a new hobby.
Just one simple message can totally change something... your outlook on thing's.
I only wish I just deleted it.
Owell.
I'm always hurting...
I woke up like 2 hours ago. I'm so lonely. ROFLROFL. My boyfriend is Japan. He said he almost got lost in Tokyo and that he couldn't buy me a Pokemon Airplane (He only had Traveler's Checks at the time). It was a souvenir they sell at the airport there. He is in Okinawa now with his cousin J.W.
I cooked Asian stir fry around 4 A.M. And wow I went to sleep after that and felt shitty waking up with a full stomach. :/ I'm such a mess right now. I guess when Nate is not around I don't know what to do with myself. I miss the comfort of him sleeping beside me. And when I toss around and grab for him there's nothing. =,[
So... here I am writing in here. Staring back and forth at the teevee. Nothing is going on PSU, the update was fail. When I say that, for those that play PSU, not sure if they noticed but a few Universes are missing in the crystal. LOL
I was going to run a few Dallgun solo's again but blehhhh. I'm just blehhhh.
Cute soap for you all to gawk at.
I think I mentioned somewhere that I slept ackward on the chair. I'm still kind of tired. Finally! I got some real sleep but it had to be on the chair? Wtf, lol. I just remember looking at the laptop and staring outside for a little bit and I guess I dozed off. I was in the middle of drawing this... =]
On a useful note. If you're ever interested in doing pixelated artwork you should definatley check this out: Derek Yu's Pixel Tutorial. This is what I'm using to learn how to Pixel. Since I don't know how to.
Nate and Seth are on airplanes as I type this. I'm at my parent's house sitting here in the living room. I'm kind of getting tired. I haven't slept for a full day now and I'm wide awake. I'm starting to worry now because I have no clue where my energy is coming from, I'm not even tired.
Note: I had some Starbucks (java chip) just a little while ago though so maybe that's some energy from there.. I'm wired a little. However, I feel sick in the stomach also. (the milk :/)
Seeing Seth go was pretty upsetting. don't you just hate on the last minute, last day's before someone leaves is when you actually have a lot to say and bond more? Yeah.
Umm. Lately I've been questioned and questioning myself whether or not if I should really think about going to school. Should I pursue in art before it's too late and I start to think I have useless talent... I'm only afraid that I'm never good enough, the fact that I have to be around a lot of people and I know, I know... they probably don't really pay attention. But I told a friend of mine, Arial, how I wanted to start out fresh and be in a totally different environment. Then going to college would maybe be a lot easier for me. It'll save me the stress of always feeling paranoid I guess.
Blehhhhhhh. Nate's flight is actually today. This morning, he's probably about to head to the airport now as I type this. I should call him. My cousin also is leaving to go back to Indiana. D: Everyone is leaving. WhrrrRryyy!!??!!
So... this only took me a few minutes, half-assed btw. Sorry.
So I wanted to note that I've become a Roseanne addict. Well, I watch the television show every night. Nathan get's off of work and after I'm done Xbox'ing. I find myself laying there watching 2-3 episodes EVERY NIGHT. I never watched Roseanne before but something about makes me want to continue watching it daily.
I'm running out of thing's to say. I'm not that interesting.
I have to go to my parents (for real this time) today. Um. ;\
I haven't slept yet it's 9'o'clock a.m. now. My eyes hurt really bad. Like, I think I have Insomnia. I've been playing too much XBox... and last night I started drawing again... I've been thinking a lot, but I don't know if I want to say anything about it... instead I will just show you this drawing I did. There's no explanation behind it, it's just something I drew out of random.
I'm going to my parent's house today. I feel indifferent about it.
Nate's going to Japan in a couple of hour's from now. His flight will be this morning. I hope he has a safe trip.
The realization of him leaving has started to set in some. I feel kind of lonely. I feel kind of scared at the same time.
I'll be going to my parent's. With clueless thoughts running through my mind at constant I'm always wondering about thing's. I want to do thing's that I still can't do because I have no clue where to start. My emotion's are everywhere because I put myself in that position... I don't know. I'm rambling.
